May 23, 2011 12:03 PM
Eric writes: "Dear Outblush, I saw you in some magazine my sister Laurie had on her bed. Farrah Fawcett was on the cover so I figured it must have the good stuff inside. You guys offered to help kids like me find Father's Day gifts. Well, Red, my dad, is an ass. He is aggressive, loves my sister more than me and walks around like some American Darth Vader. I'm telling you man, he's evil. He loves my mom. He even stayed in Wisconsin instead of moving to Florida because she wanted to stay. Whatever. Laurie and I can pitch in and buy him something. - Eric Forman"
Hey Eric. Magzilla here to save the day. Your dad sounds like a really swell guy. And considering the time period, we'll also assume he served with the Military. We picked out a few things and we explain it below. Hope you and your undeserving sister find something you like.
1. Florida State University Beer Glass ($23): Not being able to move to Florida must have been tough, especially considering how awesome FSU is. Go SEMINOLES!
2. I Love My Daughter Sweatshirt ($30): A coffee mug emblazoned with the same sentiment just didn't seem to say as much.
3. Proud To Be American Bumper Sticker ($3): Because the ass end of a car is a wonderful place to show your patriotic pride.
4. Heart Rate Monitor Watch with GPS Sensor ($195): Heart attacks are no joke and need to be monitored whenever possible.
5. LIFE: World War II ($26): Photographs are a better quick lesson teacher than telling you to go to your room and read chapter 14 on the Japanese Offensive.
6. 1967-1970 Wisconsin Badgers Helmet ($150): Any good fan needs an authentic, replica helmet.
7. Magnetic Flexible Grill Light ($12): Your dad seems like an independent dude and wouldn't ask for help even if it was just to have you hold the flashlight while he flips the steaks.
8. Waterproof Boots ($155): To stick it up your ass.
Frustrated in your search for that perfect leather handbag, red stiletto pump, or whatever makes your heart go thump in the night? Click here to check out our requests for you, the reader, and to contact us, and we might do the shopping work for you in a future Personal Shopper feature!