Have all your friends been good this year?
If they're anything like ours, you're probably snorting as you read this. Hence the Krampus card! ($4 for one; less if you buy a box) Krampus, according to Alpine tradition, is Santa's unpleasant counterpart, responsible for scaring naughty children (and adults who should know better). Instead of presents, he brings whippings and nightmares - and if you're beyond such measures, he'll just carry you off, never to be seen again. Around the turn of the last century, people would actually send each other Gruss vom Krampus (Greetings from Krampus) cards. Let's bring this tradition back, ladies! We'll save the cards with doves and holly for the people who haven't spent this year slacking, sneaking, speeding, smoking, and reading Outblush at work.
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