I'd Rather Be: Grundgetta

While a Personal Shopper can give you what you need for real life, I'd Rather Be sets you up for fantasy lives you didn't even know you had. Because sometimes a new shampoo isn't enough for a whole new you. (Want us to outfit your alter ego or your alternate reality? Just say the word!)

Life on Sesame Street isn't feathers and cookies all the time. Sometimes, you end up in the gutters, living in a trash can with your equally disgruntled boyfriend, talking to your pet worm, and longing for the day when your eyebrows part ways. So, while you're down there...

  • Bring the grunge fashion movement full circle by re-purposing old garbage bags and fabric remnants into a DIY dress disaster ($173) that is sure to be seen on runways next year.

  • Accessorize with gigantic, gaudy jewelry. The bigger the better. Bonus points if you can recycle old buttons and beads into necklaces and bracelets ($245).

  • In terms of your beauty routine, good luck. Garbage juice doesn't exactly do wonders for skin. So instead of attempting to salvage your once gorgeous locks, go ahead and rock the crimped hair ($17) that only a trash-can dweller can pull off.

  • And if you find that the apple cores and roaches still get too tangled in your tresses, you can pull them back with hair ribbons ($9) tossed out the back door of the failed beauty school.

  • Don't forget to spit shine your humble abode ($6) on a yearly basis. But a messy home is a happy home. No need to go overboard there.

  • But do treat your pet, Sylvia ($13), nicely. She does tend to the dirt carpet that lies on the floor of your can house.

  • And with all that free time you have not cleaning up after yourself, maybe you should try to work on that unibrow ($270). Even Oscar has been heard mentioning that he'd like to see your eyes and not just your hairy headband.

    For the rock bottom price of $733, you too can look your trashiest.



    Posted on 09.19.12 at 2:11 PM

    Bold, provocative, and trashy in the right ways.

    One Ring To Rule Them All

    Posted on 09.19.12 at 4:14 PM

    You pegged us, David!

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