Look, we like sandals with big ankle straps. We do. But not when they simultaneously remind us of made-for-TV sci-fi movies and Dad's old loafers. The strips that compose most of the synthetic leather uppers here look like they were unwoven from one of those cheap deck chairs - and what exactly are the shoelace holes for? We suppose that if you feel the need to crush the populace of an alien planet under your knobbly plastic heel, you can do it in the Zigi Soho Magdalena ($60). And once you achieve that, you'll be able to toss us to the giant, cheesy, carnivorous sandworms for making fun of your imperial majesty's footwear.
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