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Personal Shopper for Jessica R.'s Licious Body

Jessica writes: "Dear Outblush: I'm attending a schmancy Hollywood animation industry event with my husband, Roger, in about three weeks, and I want something that'll make his eyes pop out of his head. Preferably with an AWOOGA noise to go with it. The thing is, he's just way too used to my current wardrobe - I have this knockout purple dress that I usually wear for evening things, but how many times can I wear it, you know? I'm a redhead with a killer figure and a retro flair. Blowing a kiss (love you girls), Jessica Rabbit"

Jessica, you are one lucky lady. Hollywood, an actual mammal for a husband and a killer bod? I, Magzilla, am extremely jealous. I know you mentioned a retro flair but you also wanted to find something your husband would never expect. Well, I found the perfect clothing line for you: Licious by Coco. That's right, Coco as in "Ice Loves Coco". With a badunkadunk like hers, we image your frame would look just as foxy in these digs. Our boss actually wears this collection often; she has always and will be forever a huge Coco fan. She says it's about her "I don't give a BLEEP what you think" attitude but she is from the south and we think she secretly loves herself some sweet, sweet Ice T, if you know what we mean. This stuff is reasonably priced for a celebrity line so hopefully you can find something for the whole event and not just a schmancy new dress.

1. Denim Outfit ($160)

2. Black Rhinestone Bathing Suit ($115)

3. Capri Sweater ($72)

4. Sequins Dress ($120)

5. Denim Capri ($95)

6. Black Gym Outfit ($199)

Frustrated in your search for that perfect leather handbag, red stiletto pump, or whatever makes your heart go thump in the night? Click here to check out our requests for you, the reader, and to contact us, and we might do the shopping work for you in a future Personal Shopper feature!

Comments


Tiffany R

Posted on 06.04.11 at 11:29 AM

The photo for #2 is (borderline?) worthy of a NSFW Puppy, I think.

WT Systems

Posted on 06.04.11 at 1:44 PM

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cat

Posted on 06.04.11 at 5:37 PM

i love coco but and i know she has a clothing line now but are you suggesting this as a joke?

metmet

Posted on 06.04.11 at 10:01 PM

Can't wait until this is no longer at the top of the page. It grosses me out.

Sarah

Posted on 06.05.11 at 3:38 AM

seriously? this is disgusting. you could never show up to an industry event in ANY of those choices.

Richard Gumski

Posted on 06.05.11 at 6:25 AM

very good

Jean

Posted on 06.05.11 at 7:09 AM

This is a serious joke right??? OMG these clothes LOL

Penny

Posted on 06.05.11 at 9:12 AM

This is seriously disgusting. The only item that doesn't scream slut or look like white trash weekend is number 4, and that's cutting it really close. I wish this post would disappear.

Bertha

Posted on 06.05.11 at 12:09 PM

I don't get why Outblush is so popular. A survy girl asks for clothes and you give her ..... slutty denim and bikinis. Awesome. Outblush writers have no taste, have never had taste, and just post the same shit over and over again.

Chloe

Posted on 06.05.11 at 1:39 PM

I don't think some of you get that this is a joke because the personal shopper request is from Jessica Rabbit, a FICTIONAL character, from Who Framed Roger Rabbit

kat

Posted on 06.05.11 at 2:37 PM

Holy hell, peeps, chillaaaaaax! This is a JOKE. Why don't you Google Jessica RABBIT? Nevermind, I'll do it for you: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&source=hp&q=jessica+rabbit

Also, YAY! for Chloe actually having half a brain. High five, girlie!!!

metmet

Posted on 06.05.11 at 3:15 PM

Okay, I get that it's an attempt at humor, but it's still awful to see. If I want humor, I read the Onion. The question is why is Outblush featuring these nasty clothes? I come here for pretty things, not to have my eyes assaulted. I'm upgrading my complaint on this to worst Outblush post ever.

Tiffany R

Posted on 06.05.11 at 3:31 PM

I saw the Jessica Rabbit thing, but that just made this post even worse, since unlike some of the previous joke Personal Shoppers, this one was far off base.

Jean

Posted on 06.05.11 at 7:29 PM

Holy Camel Toe in #1... wowee wow wow

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