The Worst Trends of 2009: Please, God, No More!

2009 was an interesting year... The first African-American was elected president, Jon and Kate split up, Michael Jackson passed away, and the hottest toy of the year was a (possibly lead-laced) electronic hamster (We Americans are nothing if not practical.). Looking back on '09, we've come up with a list of the top terrible trends of 2009 that we are hoping and praying won't resurface.

1) Ed Hardy Merchandise: Everything from tee shirts to perfume to tobacco and, memorably, water, had a tattoo logo slapped on it, which automatically drove the price up about 2000%. It quickly became easy to play, "Spot the Jackass," in public - you just had to look for some tool wearing too much hair gel, designer sunglasses, huge faux diamond studs, and an Ed Hardy tee. (One particularly astute OB reader defined Ed Hardy as, "Lisa Frank for douchebags." We read that and laughed 'til we cried.) We're half expecting Christian Audiger to come out with Ed Hardy tampons next, with a growling tiger's face on the tip. Ugh, please, no.

2) The 1980's: Everything old is new again, and we couldn't escape acid washed jeans, parachute/harem pants, and shoulder pads so sharp they'd take someone's eye out. Some of it was well done, but on the whole, most of what emerged from designer's sewing machines wouldn't have gone amiss at a 1985 Guns 'N Roses concert. Some things are better left behind. Like neon pink lipstick and Reaganomics.

3) Sequels: From Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen to Alvin and the Chipmunks 2: The Squeakuel, we're thoroughly sick of sequels. There are no original plots left in this world, apparently. (See also: Please, stop "reinventing" our favorite childhood toys!)

4) Lady Gaga: We love her songs, we do, they're fabulous for karaoke night or to keep us motivated at the gym, but she was everywhere and people couldn't stop raving about her brilliance. Some said Gaga is the rebirth of disco. We sort of want Gloria Gaynor to reappear and kick Gaga's ass while singing, "I Will Survive." Also... Can we talk about the fashions? Kermit wants his skin back.

5) Twilhard Overload: See #4 - we like the Twilight saga, but it's everywhere and on every conceivable piece of merchandise ever, from homemade cloth menstrual pads to a life-size Edward silhouette decal you'll think is a burglar in the wee hours of the a.m. If someone wanted to make money this year, they stuck a Twilight (or Ed Hardy logo) on something cheap and sold it for 12 times the price.

6) Brangelina: We'd love to never see another OK! or Life & Style faker-than-Dolly-Parton's-boobs cover story on their imminent breakup! And drama! And! And! And! We get it: they're beautiful. They're rich. They have cute kids. Devote tabloid real estate to someone else.



Posted on 12.31.09 at 1:54 PM

Amen! Thank you, Ed Hardy, for providing the world with such obvious caution signs as your clothes, which look like tattoo parlors threw up on them. Nothing says, "Caution! Beware of d-bag!" like any article of Ed Hardy clothing.


Posted on 12.31.09 at 3:38 PM

I was just mentioning to a friend that Ed Hardy was a d-bag magnet, and I'm so happy I'm not alone in thinking that.

I pretty much agree with everything else except for the Reaganomics comment... sadly, the economy was better in the '80s than it is now. And that's not saying very much -- I ended up going to grad school in '86 because no-one was hiring!


Posted on 12.31.09 at 5:26 PM

Lady GaGa: someone I hope to hear (and see!) MUCH less of in 2010! Yuck. And this from someone who loves crazy fun musicians and their excesses. She's just ridiculous, and so is her music. Well, in my ever so humble opinion, anyway. ;)


Posted on 01.01.10 at 9:12 AM

i love lady gaga! she writes her own songs, sings well, and plays piano - and nobody else could pull off those outfits. at least she's in the news for her bold and daring fashion exploits instead of a tumultuous personal life or something.


Posted on 01.01.10 at 2:59 PM

I'm so disappointed that Lady Gaga made your list. I saw her in concert 3 times in 2009, and she was better every time. She's incredibly unique and talented and I'm sure that she's not going anywhere but up in 2010. :)


Posted on 01.02.10 at 5:53 PM

I'm gonna agree w/ the last two commenters on Lady Gaga. I've been an very loyal and evangelical follower of your blog but it sounds to me like just one person's opinion trying to rattle or convince a relatively popular opinion. Sorry, but you just went down a few notches in my book. P.S. there's a banner ad featuring Ed Hardy merchandise below this comment box as I'm typing this.

One Ring to Rule Them All

Posted on 01.04.10 at 8:25 AM

Well, even if we fell a few notches in your book, you're still tops with us, Robin. :) As for Lady Gaga, we here in the office don't hate her by any means! I'm speaking for us all at the moment, so I hope I don't get it twisted, but we're just a little tired of constantly having our gossip sites and entertainment blogs clogged with by-the-minute updates on what she's wearing. She IS incredibly talented and courageous enough to bust out her visions to us, we'll totally hand her that.

And the ads? Wow, we love our sponsors, but man oh man do they give meaning to Foot In Mouth Syndrome. :(


Posted on 02.24.10 at 8:05 AM

I am surprised to come back and receive a response that is sincere and humble. I appreciate that very much and regard that as a very positive action in reaching out to your readers. OK, I think we're-- as in you and I Outblush, are officially on again :)

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Posted on 04.29.10 at 12:54 AM

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