Dec 31, 2009 12:35 PM
2009 was an interesting year... The first African-American was elected president, Jon and Kate split up, Michael Jackson passed away, and the hottest toy of the year was a (possibly lead-laced) electronic hamster (We Americans are nothing if not practical.). Looking back on '09, we've come up with a list of the top terrible trends of 2009 that we are hoping and praying won't resurface.
1) Ed Hardy Merchandise: Everything from tee shirts to perfume to tobacco and, memorably, water, had a tattoo logo slapped on it, which automatically drove the price up about 2000%. It quickly became easy to play, "Spot the Jackass," in public - you just had to look for some tool wearing too much hair gel, designer sunglasses, huge faux diamond studs, and an Ed Hardy tee. (One particularly astute OB reader defined Ed Hardy as, "Lisa Frank for douchebags." We read that and laughed 'til we cried.) We're half expecting Christian Audiger to come out with Ed Hardy tampons next, with a growling tiger's face on the tip. Ugh, please, no.
2) The 1980's: Everything old is new again, and we couldn't escape acid washed jeans, parachute/harem pants, and shoulder pads so sharp they'd take someone's eye out. Some of it was well done, but on the whole, most of what emerged from designer's sewing machines wouldn't have gone amiss at a 1985 Guns 'N Roses concert. Some things are better left behind. Like neon pink lipstick and Reaganomics.
3) Sequels: From Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen to Alvin and the Chipmunks 2: The Squeakuel, we're thoroughly sick of sequels. There are no original plots left in this world, apparently. (See also: Please, stop "reinventing" our favorite childhood toys!)
4) Lady Gaga: We love her songs, we do, they're fabulous for karaoke night or to keep us motivated at the gym, but she was everywhere and people couldn't stop raving about her brilliance. Some said Gaga is the rebirth of disco. We sort of want Gloria Gaynor to reappear and kick Gaga's ass while singing, "I Will Survive." Also... Can we talk about the fashions? Kermit wants his skin back.
5) Twilhard Overload: See #4 - we like the Twilight saga, but it's everywhere and on every conceivable piece of merchandise ever, from homemade cloth menstrual pads to a life-size Edward silhouette decal you'll think is a burglar in the wee hours of the a.m. If someone wanted to make money this year, they stuck a Twilight (or Ed Hardy logo) on something cheap and sold it for 12 times the price.
6) Brangelina: We'd love to never see another OK! or Life & Style faker-than-Dolly-Parton's-boobs cover story on their imminent breakup! And drama! And! And! And! We get it: they're beautiful. They're rich. They have cute kids. Devote tabloid real estate to someone else.