A lady never, EVER does #2. Women don’t have biological functions, dearies, it’s just not done. Oh, shove it where the sun don’t shine, Miss Manners, and just carry some Poo~Pourri spray ($10-$25) with you. It’s a blend of 9 essential oils like grapefruit and bergamot that you spray on the surface of the toilet water before going; apparently, it creates a ‘physical barrier’ around the ‘offending matter’ before it reaches the air & can stink things up. 'Cuz regardless of whether or not you care if people know you poo, it’s bad form to leave a telltale nose-wrinkling aroma behind. Now, if only we could find a portable white noise machine for after those taco truck lunches…

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