Flying Pasties™
By now you've all seen videos of outraged people, claiming to be violated by security body scans at airports. Well dear readers, don't fear flying for modesty's sake - simply stick on your Flying Pasties™ ($45), and cover your precious bits from the cameras.
According to the manufacturer, they have been scientifically proven to block radiation and keep your private parts, eh, private! Side note - What kind of tests go into that?
We're quite fond of "Objects are smaller than they appear," "Objects are larger than they appear," "Just Hidin' My Junk," and "What happens under here, stays under here."
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