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Tinsel Tits Card

You aren't the kind of person to exude holiday cheer. Instead, you layer on the sarcasm and cultural insensitivity. Spread a little bah-humbug with the Tinsel Tits Card ($5). Technically, it's festive. But in reality, it's more like a big middle finger to all the egg-nogged enthusiasm and holly hullabaloo that abounds this time of year.

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