True story: We once got a haircut for 80 bones that consisted of having us stand still while the stylist walked around us, cutting our hair in an uneven line as he orbited around our body. Needless to say we were ticked. We were also 17 and hadn't grown a pair yet. How we wished we'd had the 'My hair is now officially my least favorite feature' Thanks For Nothing Card ($18 for 7) to hand him. We're still bitter.