A Gift for Spencer Pratt: Steven Seagal, Lawman

We were more than a little surprised to hear that Spencer Pratt is leaving The Hills to become a cyber security agent. But given how his wife, Heidi 3.0, has gone completely off the deep end since her most recent round o' surgeries and hired a psychic as her business manager, this makes a surprising amount of sense. Not only can he now hack into gossip websites and spread positive press for his silicon sweetie-pie, but he can do thorough checks on the new manager to make sure they're not getting telepathically ripped off.

Since the closest Spencer has actually come to terrorists is plotting staged photo shoots with the paparazzi, though, we thought he might like to see how a real celebrity-turned-crimefighter gets the job done. Due out on March 30th, the DVD set of Steven Seagal, Lawman: Season One ($18) is sure to inspire Mr. Creepy Flesh-Colored Beard to new heights of cyber policing. God help us all.

See more Steven Seagal DVDs.

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