What better way to tell that "speshul sum1" that you love 'em than with a picture of an illuminated crystal schlong? We snorted Diet Coke up our noses when we spied PaperTheater's Penis Chandelier Valentine Chocolate Candy Bar ($7) on Etsy today. It's certainly... aspirational. Inside the box, you'll find a 1oz milk chocolate candy bar and a redeemable "love coupon."
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