These days, we start hearing "Jingle Bells" around October 1st, and the holiday jingle onslaught continues 'til the post-Christmas clearance sales are over in mid-January... and it gets pretty old, because some of us don't celebrate Christmas. For those of you in need of some relief, and who are tired of humming Ma'oz Tzur and plugging your ears whenever you walk into a shopping mall, the lone Jewess on our staff will be presenting her Fab Five Hannukah Playlist of songs that remind us of the simchah (and stress) of the holiday season, and some fun gift ideas that tie in with 'em.
Shalom Aleichem Jew Crew!!!! I am Found of You, but for the purposes of this playlist, I'm Found of Jew. Let's get meshuggah all up in here with a Hannukah party playlist that will drown out all your bubbe's passive aggressive comments about your cooking, outfit, and goyishe boyfriend.
1. The Maccabeats - Candlelight
Cute Jewish boys in an a capella group. You're welcome. These Hand-Dipped, Eco-Friendly Beeswax Hanukkah Candles ($18) would make an excellent hostess gift, because everyone always runs out of candles before the eighth night, which is super embarrassing.
2. Erran Baron Cohen - Dreidl
Yup, Borat has a brother, and he makes really super music. Check out his entire Hannukah album, which I love. This particular song features rapping in Yiddish! To go with this song, I'll suggest, of course, a dreidl, but with a twist: Don't let Fido feel left out of the fun when you're all playing dreidl. You're making him feel bad. He doesn't have fingers and can't play! Make him feel included with this Multipet's 6 1/2-Inch Dreidel Hanukkah Plush Singing Dog Toy ($8)
3. Matisyahu - Miracle
Matisyahu rocks our world with his dub-style music for yids! If you know some new parents with a brand new Hannukah miracle of their own, get them the Miracle Blanket Swaddler ($30). Even if their baby is the reincarnation of Harry Houdini (he's Jewish, btw, go see the exhibit at The Jewish Museum in San Francisco.) he won't be able to squirm out of this one, and he might sleep long enough for the parents to eat a latke or five.
4. Woody Guthrie - Hanukkah Dance
You can stop rubbing your eyes. You did read this correctly. Woody Guthrie wrote Hannukah music while he was married to a Jewish woman and fathered a Jewish daughter. If you want to get something educational for your Jewish daughter (or son, or just some kvell-worthy kid you'd like to buy a gift for) consider this This Land is Your Land Map ($15) which is colorful, decorative, and a fun way for a kid to learn some geography.
5. Adam Sandler - The Original Hannukah Song
Everyone has heard this one, but I had to include it because it's a classic and because Magzilla's friend Lauren said so. Encourage the making of "Gin & Tonikkas" by gifting your favorite drinking buddy with a bottle of Distillery 209 Kosher Gin ($35). (P.S. You could also make Gin and Jews*!)
*OK, I couldn't find a recipe for a drink called Gin and Jews, but I recommend mixing the kosher gin with Manischewitz and not blaming me for what happens next.
Found of You here: Rather than find you the perfect LBD, look to me for the perfect accessories! As an accessorizing whiz, I can style your "What do I wear with it?!" clothing, dig up awesome maternity and nursing clothes (I'm a Mommy!), and make your tootsies look perfect in fabulous flats (or pumps, or sandals). Oh, and if you need to give someone (ME!!) a gift, I say buy 'em food and books, and I'd love to help you find just the right stuff.