Every good parent knows that the secret to raising amazing kids is to give them love, nurturing, and just enough dysfunction to make them funny. Obviously Mom understood that when she delayed first-time bra shopping for so long that the coolest girl in school had to explain that it was time for a mini boulder-holder... while we were in the middle of changing for gym class no less. That's a true story, btw. How To Traumatize Your Children ($11) gives you all the expert advice you need to make sure that your kids don't make it through adolescence without some noticeable level of damage. Whether you're going for controlling, overindulgent, or neglectful, this book is the best way to ensure that your child will grow up to pen a humorous New York Times bestseller about you.