Dear Mariah Carey:
We think you're insanely, mind-bogglingly talented and beautiful, mmkay? But girlfriend, you are 39 years old and the "18 year old pornstar-Barbie-ingénue" look is not so appropriate anymore, even if you are married to a man nearly a decade your junior. Your new video for "Up Out My Face (feat. Nicki Minaj)" was the last straw for us. You likely have umpteen stylists working on you, so we'd love to give them all copies of Kendall Farr's Style Evolution: How to Create Ageless Personal Style in Your 40s and Beyond ($15). Maybe it's not geared towards pop chanteuses, but at least we could start working in the right direction, i.e. clothes in your actual size that make you look like the classy, talented diva you are.
Of course, there's also always the classic Timm Gunn's Guide to Style ($13), but you're so rich you can probably afford a one-on-one personal consult with the darling, dashing Project Runway mentor. Heck, he might even do it for free.
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