I'd Rather Be: In the Black Lodge

While a Personal Shopper can give you what you need for real life, I'd Rather Be sets you up for fantasy lives you didn't even know you had. Because sometimes a new shampoo isn't enough for a whole new you. (Want us to outfit your alter ego or your alternate reality? Just say the word!)

Would we really want to be in the Black Lodge? Probably not - unless you promised that Agent Cooper would be there to hold our hands the whole time. But we realized a general "I'd Rather Be: In Twin Peaks" would have a lot of overlap with those hot lumberjack looks, so instead we ask you to step into the surreal and get to snapping those fingers.

  • Hopefully, settling in for a nap on this owl pillow ($104) won't make you dream of mysterious and horrifying long-haired men at the foot of your bed.
  • But if it's the uncanny you're after, maybe have a cup of coffee (black, of course) out of this zigzag mug ($14)
  • while kicking back in an oversized black leather armchair ($1,999).
  • If you plan on having a conversation during your visit, make sure to brush up on your ability to speak backwards (perhaps familiarizing yourself with the IPA can help). But if that's too much work, surely there's an app for that. Just be sure to protect your phone with a case fit for a special agent ($40).
  • On the topic of technology, those full-size statues are a little dated; switch them out for the more petite and practical Aphrodite USB Hub ($8), which doubles as decor and sheer peripheral power.
  • Last not but not least, what will you wear? A red velvet dress ($895) will help you fit in with your surroundings, and in a parallel universe, yes, you can afford a nearly $900 dress.
  • But if the drapery-inspired frock is too much, you can always just switch out of your saddle shoes and into a shiny pair of red pumps ($298).

    You'll have to sell a lot of cherry pies to pick up this assortment; it totals $3,358.

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