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I'd Rather Be: Bitter Orphan Annie

While a Personal Shopper can give you what you need for real life, I'd Rather Be sets you up for fantasy lives you didn't even know you had. Use these postcards from the edge to break up the work day, why don't you?

Sun coming out tomorrow or no sun coming out tomorrow, you figure that a deprived early childhood followed by years of being shamelessly used as an anti-FDR mouthpiece (so totally true) might have gotten the girl a little more cynical later in life.

  • Give yourself short curls or shorter spikes in Manic Panic's Pillarbox Red ($10).
  • Those trademark (and creepy, right?) pupil-less eyes can be yours, too, with the right set of contacts ($60; $30 per lens).
  • An Annie-style LBD will run you $41, and really ought to be worn over a pair of
  • black & newspaper printed leggings ($40).
  • But those won't cover your feet, so put on a pair of red lace ankle socks ($3) before slipping on some
  • black-patent-and-clear-plastic Oxfords ($91). Now, you could totally stop there, but if you're going for funny-paper overkill, throw in
  • a monocle ($4),
  • a four-finger ring in Warbucks's honor ($5),
  • some newsprint-style fake tats made with a black henna kit ($20),
  • and maybe some comic strip newsprint nails on a red background. (Thanks to NailNerd.com for proving it can be done.)
  • Got a Sandy of your own? There'll be no better excuse to get him a red-with-red-spikes collar ($18) and
  • a red chain leash ($20).

    If you already own a bottle of red nail polish and a newspaper, you're down to $312 Warbucks for the whole kit and kaboodle.

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