It's our party and we'll cry if we want to . . . but there's no party tonight--we're just trying to make French Onion Soup, christ. If you like head-to-toe pink, RSVP's International Onion Goggles ($18) are your best bet for combatting onion fumes. They seal to make an eye-safe air chamber with soft foam frame guards. So we're gunna go ahead and ignore kitchen old wives' tales like burning candles and underwater chopping. We'll just whistle while we work.