Come Back with a Warrant Doormat

As much as we could use a mat to wipe our feet on before entering through the door, a "welcome" mat sends the wrong message - you know, that we might in any way be hospitable. Seriously, leave us alone, our house is our sanctuary and we don't like guests. The Come Back with a Warrant Doormat ($20) is pretty hostile, but also enough of a joke that you can brush it off if your mother should drop by for a surprise visit.

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