Our Gift to Sandra Bullock: The Blendtec Home 1560-Watt Blender

In case you've been living under a rock, you may or may not have heard that Jesse James is allegedly a lying, cheating SOB, and we'd like to kick him in the dangly bits on behalf of Sandra Bullock, one of our favorite actresses. But, since our lawyers advise us that such an act could be punishable by law, we'll settle for sending dear Miz Sandy a BlendTec Home 1560 Watt Blender ($399). Why, you ask? Not for a night of strong margaritas, nope. See, if you're familiar with BlendTec's "But will it blend?" commercials, you know that they will grind up anything from a squirrel carcass to an iPhone to prove the durability of their blenders. So, Sandra: take everything he's ever given you and dump it in that there BlendTec, pulverize it into a fine powder, and have it sent to him via courier with signed divorce papers. (And call us if you want a margarita night anyways. We're totally free!)

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