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Gifts for the A-Team: B. A. Baracus

Rampage Jackson, it's not looking good. First there were those dumbass comments about the perceived gayness of acting and Vancouver, which made us want to give you one of these. Then there was the kerfuffle about Mr. T, whose updated role you snagged, not liking your movie. Of course, then a retraction was printed, but that's because he hasn't even seen it, which isn't exactly a ringing endorsement either. Besides the t-shirt, here are a few consolation prizes. First off, if you're planning on keeping the Baracus mantle, you've got to take care of all of those chains, so here's a gallon jug of jewelry cleaner ($20). Then, if you need a primer on cartoony violence (for which the original A-Team was known) you can sit down and watch the critters of Pokemon toss each other around. For 650 minutes. On DVD. ($27) And then you could work off some of that pent-up rampaginess with some soothing peppermint and eucalyptus gumballs from Origins ($5).

Don't kill us. Mr. T wouldn't kill us.

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