You know what's really metal? Not James Hetfield. Grizzly bears. We're entirely certain that a grizzly bear would out-metal every member of Metallica in about two messy seconds. That's why we're skipping stupid human band shirts in favor of this Blood is the New Black Metal Bears Distressed Tank Top ($29). Though we admit that if Blood is the New Black were a real grizzly band, we'd probably pass on the live show. We hear that to bears, fans smell like bacon.
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