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Halogen Fiona Wrap Cover-Up

When we go to the beach, it isn't to be hit on. It's to enjoy the relaxing ocean waves and sip on a mojito cleverly disguised in a Sprite bottle. So when we stand up, we camouflage with this Halogen Fiona Wrap Cover-Up ($32), blending... [More]

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Agent Provocateur Mazzy Triangle Bikini Top

Give the beachgoing public a lesson in geometry every time you wear this Agent Provocateur Mazzy Triangle Bikini Top ($220). They may pretend to be staring at your acute angles, but what they're really looking at from behind those dark glasses is your curves.... [More]

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Mara Hoffman King Tut Ladder Bikini

Want a high-waisted suit without compromising on modern-day style? This Mara Hoffman King Tut Ladder Bikini ($200) should be right up your alley. Sporting a fresh pattern in summer-savvy colors, this is vintage style given a major makeover. The cutouts on the bottom and top... [More]

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Nanette Lepore Seaside Stripe Tunic

If possible, we'd go naked 24/7/365. So swimsuit season is understandably our favorite time of year. And when the time comes that we have to cover up, for whatever reason, we rely on this Nanette Lepore Seaside Stripe Tunic ($118) to keep us as comfortable... [More]

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Norma Kamali Mesh Halter Swimdress

At first glance, we figured this Norma Kamali Mesh Halter Swimdress ($350) would be illegal in most states, but Neiman Marcus promises us that the suit's ruched folds are designed to cover up our "trouble spots". We love that we now have a new name... [More]

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Leaf Print Kaftan

We're packing this awesome Leaf Print Kaftan ($29) for our up-and-coming tropical resort vacation. Our plan is to start each day with a mimosa, work our way to margaritas, and then finish the evening with a mojito. Somewhere in there we'll surface from the poolside... [More]

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Stussy Halter Tie One Piece Swimsuit

We already have theme songs running through our heads most of the day, so it's only appropriate that we have the swimwear to go with it. The Stussy Halter Tie One Piece Swimsuit ($96) features a stereo graphic on an otherwise simple gold suit. With... [More]

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Mara Hoffman Beaded Twist One Piece

The Mara Hoffman Beaded Twist One Piece ($253) isn't just your average beach suit. This swimsuit commands a hammock on the isle of Fiji, or a deck chair at the Hôtel de Paris in Monte Carlo. Finish your look with stacks of gold bangles, a... [More]

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Mirador Two Piece Swimsuit

The tankini: generally not cool - except when it comes in the form of this Mirador Two Piece Swimsuit ($294). Instead of the usual "I'm obviously trying to cover up my gut" style, this number sports an ultra-cute blousy top over a chic high-waisted bottom.... [More]

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Norma Kamali Ruffled Mesh Bikini Top

The Norma Kamali Ruffled Mesh Bikini Top ($200) is perfect for the Itty Bitty Titty Convention that happens anytime we get together with our equally flat sisters. The shoulder straps are basically useless; they don't adjust crap. But the ruffles do attract attention to our... [More]

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Karla Colletto Lace-Up Plunge-Front Swimsuit

Tan lines be damned. We don't care if this Karla Colletto Lace-Up Plunge-Front Swimsuit ($255) will make us look like a summertime connect-the-dots game for children. It's the perfect blend of flattering and conservative, with the added bonus of a luxurious blue color. Lounging next... [More]

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Marilyn Checkered Bathing Suit

As our summer diets devolve into a frenzy of cheese puff consumption and binge drinking, we become even more appreciative of full bum coverage in our one-piece bathing suits. This Marilyn Checkered Bathing Suit ($79) sports a boy-short cut in the rear, while the ruched... [More]

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Vix Buzios Tie Side Fringe Bottom

If you aren't afraid of getting a little sun where the sun don't usually shine, then you might be brave enough for this Vix Buzios Tie Side Fringe Bottom ($90 on sale). It covers what would otherwise land you in jail on most public beaches,... [More]

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Oh Baby by Motherhood Striped Halterkini Top & Scoop Bottom Swim Set

Ladies, when you're pregnant, nothing you wear is going to hide that. So looking for a more flattering bathing suit is almost as useless as trying to sleep comfortably during your third trimester. This Oh Baby by Motherhood Striped Halterkini Top & Scoop Bottom Swim... [More]

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Mossimo Mix & Match Striped Twist Bandeau Swim Tops

July may be on its way out, but that doesn't mean we have to stop buying swimsuits. The two things that never go out of style, from year to year, are stripes and sales. Take advantage of the prices on these Mossimo Mix & Match... [More]

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Reef Beach Haze Bandeau Bra Bikini Top

It's as if we sent our boobs on a Jamaican cruise, and they came back with their cleavage braided and beaded. We're not sure we love it, but we can't stop staring at this Reef Beach Haze Bandeau Bra Bikini Top ($28), which is exactly... [More]

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Profile by Gottex Tricolore Ruffle Skirted Bottom

The only thing more frustrating than plus-size fashion being advertised by size-four models is how unflattering most plus-size swimwear actually is. We're just fuller, not embarrassed. So we stopped with the gargantuan tablecloth-sized cover-ups and embraced our curves in this Profile by Gottex Tricolore Ruffle... [More]

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Magda Gomes Beachwear Printed Bikini Bathing Suit

Hitting the beach for some epic volleyball action, Top Gun style? Don't let your tatters fly around like jet fighters. Land those puppies in this Magda Gomes Beachwear Printed Bikini Bathing Suit ($153 on sale). The double strap on top of each boob flap provides... [More]

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Reef Beach Cruisers Bandeau Bra Bikini Top

Boobs are a dime a dozen on the beach or on the pool deck. We set ourselves apart by keeping our cans together with this Reef Beach Cruisers Bandeau Bra Bikini Top ($27). The halter strap is removable, preventing sundress-ruining tan lines. But is just... [More]

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Sarda by Andres Sarda Tilos Halter Bandeau Swimsuit

While we save up the money to pay for the laser treatment to rid ourselves of the ill-thought-out tattoos we got back in college, we'll be wearing this Sarda by Andres Sarda Tilos Halter Bandeau Swimsuit ($288). It covers us up in all the right... [More]

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