Apr 13, 2010 8:10 AM
You may have noticed that we're hardly perpetual rays of sunshine around here, but even so, we seem to spend a lot of our time enthusing about one gewgaw or another. Doubtblush exists to make it clear that we do not, in fact, like everything.
There is nothing to like about these C. Neeon Harem Pants ($369) - the crotch falls at the knees, the print is reminiscent of a Rorschach Test on ether, they're almost $400, and if you were to put them on your figure would only be flattering compared to that of a rhino. Here is a list of things we would rather do than wear the pants: get a mullet, and a perm, eat nothing but haggis for an entire year, try crystal meth, be shot at dawn. Note the back of the pants, and how the butt area is fluffed out like a puffer fish. The only logical reasons for this extra room would be so the wearer could use the extra space to smuggle small exotic lizards into the country, or to comfortably accommodate an adult diaper.