No, these aren't sentimental tears that we are crying. We would never want to give these cufflinks ($625) to a theoretical fiance on the morning of our theoretical wedding in the hopes that they could one day be worn at our theoretical daughter's wedding. And, no, we don't need a tissue to wipe away these mushy water droplets. Because they aren't tears. They're an overflow of freon leaking from our cold, unfeeling souls.
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