You want to show the world how sarcastic and blasé you are, but expressing yourself through talking is so uncool. That's why you need this Oh Wow Lovely Beanie ($15) from Hype/Nosis. The subdued expression with the low-key font communicates to everyone that you're totally over this - whatever this is. And you don't even have to exert all that tiresome effort to vibrate your vocal chords.
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