Doubtblush: Ash Alex Wedge Sneakers with 3 Tabs

You may have noticed that we're hardly perpetual rays of sunshine around here, but even so, we seem to spend a lot of our time enthusing about one gewgaw or another. Doubtblush exists to make it clear that we do not, in fact, like everything.

The pastel Velcro sneakers you wore in second grade (and that your grandma still wears for her daily power walk) and those inexplicably trendy wedge sneakers met in a dark, smoky bingo parlor, and it was lust at first sight. The inevitable result was this: The Ash Alex Wedge Sneakers with 3 Tabs ($235), quite possibly some of the ugliest shoes we've ever laid eyes on. Not only are Velcro sneakers best reserved for those under 8 and over 80, this bulky silhouette will stump-ify even the longest and loveliest of gams. No. No, no, no, and again we say, no.

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