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Janetor's DWTS Makeup Must-Haves

Melissa Joan Hart. Donny Osmond. Chuck Liddell. Kelly Osborne. What do these seemingly unrelated famous names have in common? They, along with eleven others, are part of the cast for season 9 of Dancing With the Stars, which starts tonight. Now, we've got two left feet, but we do know all about makeup that'll get these 16 B-listers at least looking the part of ballroom divas and divos...

Parissa Wax Strips ($9-12)- Yes, even for the boys. Those cut-to-there shirts don't leave much room for chest rugs, so ixnay the airhay with these organic, gentle DIY wax strips.

It Stays! Body Adhesive ($12) - Nipplegate 2009 is so not happening when you use this stuff. Just apply to skin, stick your clothing firmly in place, then remove with water.

AquaNet ($4) - There's a reason this stuff is still beloved by drag queens everywhere: it works. Curls, waves, bouffants, whatever, they'll stay in place, even if the rest of you is moving elsewhere.

Cargo Multi-Mix Bronzer ($38) - Tanning booths? Puh-leeze. This lightweight bronzing gel has buildable coverage, so maybe even Tom DeLay could sculpt himself a six pack. (On second thought, no on that last bit.)

Ilamasqua Lipstick ($20) - Layer this hyper-pigmented lipstick on under gloss for some seriously colored pucker-uppers. It comes in a wide variety of shades, from black to scarlet to bubble-gum pink to gold, and will pretty much stay in place until Doomsday.

Shu Uemura Sapphire Diamante False Eyelashes ($25) - Come to think of it, these might be a good idea for some of the male contestants. Goodness knows they could use some sparkle and flair. Anyways, fake eyelashes = must have for batting one's eyes at Carrie Ann Inaba and Len Goodman to raise one's score.

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