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Klorane Shampoo with Papyrus Milk

During the good ole days (read: Egyptian heyday), they didn't exactly have our modern-day hygiene standards. But maybe they can teach us a thing or two about keeping clean and managing our manes. Klorane Shampoo with Papyrus Milk ($18) contains the same ingredient that grew... [More]

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Michael Van Clarke 3 More Inches

While some men may look at this and think they've found the elixir to their manhood youth, Michael Van Clarke 3 More Inches ($87) applies only to the hair on your head. But what we don't quite understand is the marketing text for this product,... [More]

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Sultra Heat Safe with Thermastress Complex Protective Spray

Used before or during trips into the depths of hell, Sultra Heat Safe with Thermastress Complex Protective Spray ($18) will protect your soul from becoming ensnared in Dante's circle of hell reserved for those who don't know how to care for themselves and become slobs,... [More]

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L'Occitane Aromachologie Volumizing Conditioner

Staying at a hotel is a bitter-sweet experience for those who love a good beauty product. You enjoy the day lounging by the pool getting buttered up by locals aka smile prostitutes only to come back to your room to fall madly in love with... [More]

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It's A 10 Miracle Hair Mask

When most people pray for a miracle, it's usually so they can win the lottery, exact a swift undetected death on their mother-in-law or a receive a deserving promotion. We pray for It's A 10 Miracle Hair Mask ($22). This summer brutalized our hair in... [More]

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Alterna Caviar Perfect Blowout

Achieve that winning blowout all year long with Alterna Caviar Perfect Blowout ($24). We hear that it's what the mothers of toddlers in tiaras use to help those tots win those big pageants and lord knows those women are the real winners in life. And... [More]

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Trilogy Botanical Moisture Masque

If Australia endorses this product as a remedy for dry summer locks, then it must be good. Trilogy Botanical Moisture Masque ($28) is made of marshmallow, coconut fruit, avocado oil and rosehip oil which sounds like four different kinds of awesome to us. We're totally... [More]

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Schwarzkopf Dust It Mattifying Powder

Ever since we discovered the Schwarzkopf Dust It Mattifying Powder ($13), we've been keeping a bottle of it in our purses. The idea is to sprinkle a little powder into your hair, fluff with your fingers, and watch the magic happen. It adds lift and... [More]

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Shiseido Refreshing Sun Protection Spray SPF 16

As if it's not bad enough to have fine hair, us follicularly challenged discriminatory gals have to deal with either the option of wearing a hat to the beach during the summer months or loading our parts with greasy sunscreen to ward off 3rd degree... [More]

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Big Sexy Hair Spray and Play Harder Hair Spray

Some of us don't have the fabulous volume Conan O'Brien flaunts every night on TBS. For the rest of us there's Big Sexy Hair Spray and Play Harder Hair Spray ($10). If he can play hard and rock a gorgeous bouffant, why can't we dammit?!... [More]

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John Masters Organic Bourbon Vanilla and Tangerine Hair Texturizer

We whip our hair back and forth but it never moves thanks to John Masters Organic Bourbon Vanilla and Tangerine Hair Texturizer ($21). Whether we are rocking the curls for the afternoon or spiking it up Ellen DeGeneres style on the weekend, this stuff keeps... [More]

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John Masters Organics Sea Mist Sea Salt Spray With Lavender

Can't go to the beach every day? (Darn work--or in most of our cases, darn this living inland thing!) Fear not, you can bring the beach to you with the Sea Mist Sea Salt Spray With Lavender ($17) from John Masters Organics. Or rather, you... [More]

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Sea Chi Tasmanian Lavender Shampoo

Sulfates and parabens? Uncheck. Plastic bottle? Uncheck. Drying and abrasive? Uncheck. Would you like to add Sea Chi Tasmanian Lavender Shampoo ($33) to your shopping cart? Check.... [More]

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Philip B pH Restorative Detangling Mist

We have super fine hair that will go limp even if you look at it funny. Sort of like our third boyfriend's you-know-what. We have to stay away from heavy conditioners. But Philip B pH Restorative Detangling Mist ($24) does just what it says: restores,... [More]

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Icon Treatment Cure Leave-In Spray

We Outblushers love a good set of hooters. And we mean that in every possible way you could take it. Boobs are just...magical. Go ahead. Grab your own tits. Your neighbor's tits. Your girlfriend's tits. When has a person ever come up for air after... [More]

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Doubtblush: Curried Myrrh Tadefi Embellished Turban

They say great taste is timeless - but then again, so is bad taste. Despite the time we spend looking for stuff to make you salivate with desire, occasionally we stumble upon things that elicit a very different oral reaction. Sometimes we shudder and move... [More]

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Davines Defining Artifixture Styling Gel

We needs man jizz when you can use Davines Defining Artifixture Styling Gel ($21)?... [More]

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Carol's Daughter Healthy Hair Butter

Carol's Daughter is one smart cookie. We wonder if she's single. We have a brother that we'd love to hook her up with. Especially if she keeps pumping out products like her Healthy Hair Butter ($17). But only if she gives us the sister-in-law discount... [More]

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Rene Furterer Volumea Volumizing Foam

Mousse has gone high tech with Rene Furterer Volumea No Rinse Volumizing Foam ($23), which contains special 'cationic polymers' to resist humidity (no, we don't know what those are, either). Natural Carob extract, usually reserved for vegan desserts, adds weightless volume to limp tresses. Massage... [More]

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Adara Jasmine Organic Virgin Coconut Oil

So listen to this: Adara sells their Organic Virgin Coconut Oil, scented with Jasmine, in a travel size ($12). Now that you've heard, let's break it down, shall we? Organic coconut oil is a total cure all. Put it on your dry skin, massage it... [More]

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