Stroke on a Rope

We feel for Bernard Madoff, really, we do. 150 years in prison? Yowza. C’mon, there’s no concierge services or string quartets or people to swindle in jail! Okay, maybe it’s a yes on that last one, but it’s much more likely that he’ll become the shower-time entertainment – you can’t talk your way out of becoming someone’s bitch. A useful defense strategy? Madoff should order hundreds of these Stroke on a Ropes ($20) for his fellow prisoners. We’ll let you figure out what they’re for.

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