We feel for Bernard Madoff, really, we do. 150 years in prison? Yowza. C’mon, there’s no concierge services or string quartets or people to swindle in jail! Okay, maybe it’s a yes on that last one, but it’s much more likely that he’ll become the shower-time entertainment – you can’t talk your way out of becoming someone’s bitch. A useful defense strategy? Madoff should order hundreds of these Stroke on a Ropes ($20) for his fellow prisoners. We’ll let you figure out what they’re for.
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