May 24, 2012 9:00 AM
The Intelligent Nutrients Certified Organic Anti-Aging Total Body Elixir ($30) has instructions that go a little something like this:
1. Find a suitable partner you wouldn't mind seeing naked.
2. Take a long, hot, luxurious shower or bath.
3. Light some candles and incense while your partner sets up a comfortable area for the next step.
4. Rub each other down with this seductive body potion, paying close attention to the abdomen and loins, restoring each others' bodies with necessary nutrients.
5. Satisfy one another's intimate and carnal cravings. Wildly.