May 17, 2012 10:15 AM
We are compulsive armpit shavers thanks to an awkward incident at gymnastics camp when we were ten. Having never been taught that armpit hair was weird, we were unaware it needed to be removed. Jessie Steiner teased us into thinking otherwise. Even into adulthood, we are haunted by her mean-spirited joking and her insistent requests that we do back-walkovers so she could run away laughing at our furry pits. All this mental trauma resulted in very sensitive armpit skin, preventing us from being able to wear drugstore deodorant. We were so happy to find DERMAdoctor Total NonScents ($20), a roll-on antiperspirant that doesn't kick our armpits while they're down. We can wear it during the day and overnight without fear of clogging our pores or causing ingrown hairs. With the help of this stuff (combined with the fact that we recently saw Jessie on Facebook and she's got an ugly husband and a really dumb-looking dog), we're starting to feel like we can move past the jokes and on with the rest of our lives.
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